Jonathan Roberts Not Safe for Society
Jonathan Roberts Not Safe for Society
Not Safe For Society: Striking the Balance – Treading the Line Between Family, Work, and Personal Ambition
When the scales of work, family, and self tip too far in one direction, how do we find our footing again? In an intimate exploration of this podcast, I lay bare my heart, sharing raw perspectives on achieving a dynamic balance that honors our commitments to our loved ones while nurturing our own ambitions. Kicking things off, I delve into the deeply personal motivations behind this venture, offering this auditory haven as a therapeutic escape from the omnipresent specter of cancel culture and algorithmic oppression.
Navigating through the meandering paths of modern relationships, I take you on a narrative journey that begins with the spark of courtship and the visions of shared futures. The threads of ambition, parenthood, and the oft-overlooked emotional economy of family weave a tapestry of introspective discussions. Here, I recount the promises we make, the dreams we chase, and the sometimes harsh reality that financial strains can strain more than just the pocketbook—they can pull at the very fabric of our romantic bonds.
Finally, I share trenchant insights from my time with the 173rd Airborne Brigade and the relentless work ethos of the automotive industry, revealing the stark truths learned from those experiences. The stories unfold, illustrating the tightrope walk between professional success and the priceless currency of family moments. So, tune in and perhaps, in the mirror of my experiences, you'll glimpse the contours of your own life's balance.
All right, welcome to another episode of Not Safe for Society. Almost forgot what the hell my podcast was even called right there, but this is a podcast where I really use for me and the people that want to hear me. This podcast truly is for no one else other than me, to just be able to talk One. I get a little practice talking, I get a little bit better stage presence, get a little smoother with my words, but at the same time it's a good. It's a good therapy session for myself and that's why I love doing. It is because I can really say what's on my mind.
Speaker 1:And I was held back by, held back by fear, so much of what people would think of my thoughts and I was told oh, dude, you can't express those thoughts because politics or your opinion doesn't matter, or the woke community or whatever it is, cancel culture. And you know they're kind of right, because when I get a little rough, when I get a little, you know, aggressive or whatnot, on like, let's say, facebook or Instagram, I think meta is the worst right now for me. Getting fucking throttled is they throttle me, man? My message doesn't get out there anyways, and as a coach, as you know, what I do is I've got to have my message get out a little bit and then I've got to grab the people who really want to hear it or who want the reality or the raw version of myself, and I got to give them an outlet. The other part is, if you hold back too long, you get lost in your own way. You kind of lose who you are, you lose your inner drive. So this podcast is just you know topics that I get that I talk about for 30 minutes to an hour and we see where they go. So it goes all over the place.
Speaker 1:Um, and this is actually the second episode I'm shooting today, because this week's a little bit busy. So I wanted to get two out and I did my last one on that. You'll probably hear a day or two before this on obesity in America and that was a real topic. That was, you know, quite a bit of emotion there. So I'm still coming off of that one a little bit. And then I also did a post. Hey, I'm recording a new uh, new postcast should be podcast, but you know there goes my typo problem again and my inability to proofread. What do you want to hear? So I got a handful of comments but, coming from Jacqueline Elliott, we've got family balance and that's the one I'm selecting is. The other one was sales and there was a couple on fitness. So I'm going to say my obesity obesity episode hit the fitness side.
Speaker 1:So let's talk about family balance. The other portion of this one is because of the topic itself. I did not do any damn research. Why? Because family balance is something that you have to find within yourself and you have to really know what it means to you. And, excuse me, and it goes into a lot more than just family, because so many people talk about this work-life balance bullshit. And that's the problem with it is there is no work-life balance. It's a constant teeter. People are constantly having to apply weight, remove weight, change this, you know, move the uh, move the uh, the fucking balance mechanism, or jump on a different teeter, tart, get bigger, get smaller, like. There's so much movement that goes on.
Speaker 1:But really where it goes to, I guess family balance is being present in every situation you put yourself in and really identifying who you are, what promises you have made to you and your family and like are you actually achieving them and what are you guys like willing to? I don't want to say sacrifice, cause I hate that word because it just sounds bad and it scares people. It's like I don't want to sacrifice anything. Well then, you don't want to do shit. But like, what is you and what? What does your family want? Like, what are their goals? Like, typically, you know, every family I know that's, you know been started organically. You know everyone wants to eat organic chicken, but we never mind not going down that route. But typically the way a family is started is when a man and woman love each other and they have sex and then, like you know, the condom breaks or whatever, and fucking babies made Bam. We just summarize that shit with only offending 3% of people. So you basically make a baby, right, and then you got a family.
Speaker 1:So I want to say this let's go back to like a traditional values family, because we need to get back to traditional values. Whether it's, you know, your Christian traditional values or whatever, if you're going to start a family, there needs to be a man and wife raising a damn child. And if you do it a different way, by all means do whatever the fuck makes you happy. But this is the experience I have in my life man and woman fall in love and then eventually they make babies. Now they don't have to get married. I don't really I'm not, you know, a traditionalist when it comes to that sense. I don't really give a shit. But when a man and woman decide that they're going to make a child, whether on accident or on purpose, they then create a um, uh, basically it's their job to raise that child. And if you're not ready to make that decision, you really need to make sure the other things you're doing are in check, because it's on you if you don't fuck it up.
Speaker 1:So, that being said, when a man and woman typically meet and start a relationship, there's pretty much, you know, there's talking, there's finding out about each other. There's, you know, talking about goals and a future and, like every relationship, I know, because relationships are a sale right, if a man and a woman got together and one guy, like the guy, was like well, yeah, you know, it was good meeting you. Um, I'm glad this Tinder thing worked out. Honestly, um, yeah, most of my relationships don't work. No, I don't think it's because of you know, the woman. It's, you know, it's definitely not me.
Speaker 1:Well, I don't see myself really doing anything. I kind of just want to flip burgers at McDonald's my whole life, like, trust me, that dude ain't getting any, so there ain't going to be any risk of him fucking fucking up and making a baby. But here's the other thing. That's not how you start a relationship, that's not how and I'm not saying you're going to lie to people, but I'm saying typically when the fire's there, when the emotion motions there, when you're young and ambitious, you're like, oh my gosh, yeah, you know, I really have these big, freaking dreams. You know, right now I'm kind of flipping burgers at McDonald's, but really I'm not really flipping burgers.
Speaker 1:What I'm trying to do is I'm trying to learn the inside and outs of this chainsaw restaurant that's so systemized and put together. Because I see that vision in my own self, I think I want to. Either one maybe I'm going to buy some McDonald's. I want to be a franchisor and, you know, own a bunch, or I've got this big vision that's really going to help. I want to get in the management, lead huge team, something, something, something you talk about big goals, like even if you're flipping burgers at McDonald's, when you're in that courting stage, when you're in that dating stage, when you're in that learning about each other's.
Speaker 1:Your goals are big man and woman, both fricking ways, and what then happens is, you know, maybe you make a kid cool. What happens with every kid. I don't care if you were, you know, dirt poor. Um, when you had the kid, or you had a million dollars, your goal was to get the kid you know to survive normally kind of normally, you know. Be a good kid, be someone to society. Not go to jail, go to fricking college, wherever they want, be able to do whatever they want, be able to play sports, be able to have every opportunity that you didn't have. That's pretty much everyone's goal.
Speaker 1:Raising a kid is like, even if you're the poorest of the poorest, you kind of have a kid and as long as you're at least a decent person, like, it's like you know what? I didn't have much, so I want to give my kid more. You know I couldn't go to college because of this, and I'm not saying this isn't a thing about college being the only way to go, trust me, ooh, that's an episode of you as fuck college. Anyways, like I want to give my kid a better life than I ever have. I want them to be able to play every club sport to, if they choose to go to university and not have to worry about how to pay for it, or if they could pay for it, or you know, like, if they work their ass off and want to go to fucking harvard, they can go to harvard or yale or hopkins or wherever the hell they want to go and not have to worry financially. That that's what would prevent them from doing. They can have every goal, every dream, like that's what people want to do with their kids. So let's go back to that, let's.
Speaker 1:The mind is framed that as you're dating, as you're starting a family, you typically have big goals and big dreams. So the first part about your family balance is is it in line, like, is the way our family's pushing in line with our dreams and goals? Because here's where it gets complicated, because those goals, those dreams that you said day one, and if you're a man and you promised your fucking wife something and, for example, uh, bradley, uh, fucking, one of his favorite sayings, and I quoted it one day on my Facebook page and it blew up because people are fucking pathetic and it was funny because it was only men telling me I was wrong. The women were like fuck. Yeah, I was like I wish my man heard that shit and listened, and I took it from Brad and I quoted him. It's all good, but it was something to the extent of your woman doesn't have a spending problem, you have an earning problem. And then every man is like blah, blah, blah. I work fucking hard, she's a fucking bitch. And then every woman's like hell, yeah, now here's the thing. Here's the thing.
Speaker 1:When I say that I am not referencing some gold digger, I'm not referencing some woman that you picked up at the bar three days ago and she was, you know, funds. You decided to keep her around for a few more days and she wanted Louie this, louie that. But you know you're buying. Like I live in Scottsdale, I see this shit all the time. You know what I'm saying. Like that's not the fucking gold digger I'm talking about. I'm talking about. I'm talking about the person that you dated, the person that you had a great relationship with, the person that you told these goals to, for example, if you told hypothetically, if you told hey, babe, I'm going to do this, I'm going to do that and I promise you, I promise you, in five years we're going to buy a house. You're going to be driving that F250 that you want. Yeah, she's a hillbilly too. You're going to be doing all this shit If she goes at the five-year mark and buys that F-250, don't bitch at her that she bought the F-250.
Speaker 1:If you told her you were going to buy her this ring or this Louis bag or whatever stupid shit that comes out of your mouth, that ain't stupid. It's what you promised. If you told it and she buys it and you told her this life and she's buying that shit, she does not have a spending problem. You have an earning problem. You are not coming up to your side of the bargain.
Speaker 1:So we have the dreams and the goals that we discussed. We had the things that we promised. The things that came out of her mouth that were put into reality go right along with our plan, go right along with our balance beam of life, with our balance beam of our family. So how the hell do we freaking balance work If we've got these big goals, if we've got these big dreams that are going to require 80 hours, if we've got these like, hey, I promised my family this, I promised my family that.
Speaker 1:Then, like, all of that shit you have to figure out. And here's the thing, here's how I balance my life, and it's chaotic as fuck. So don't think it fucking works perfectly, don't think it's freaking easy, but I do it all and it took me so long to figure out how I do it all and I figured it out once. Here's how it happened. So this is really where it locked in, because I tried playing with this method for so long and I hated it because I couldn't figure it out, because for so long I gave everything I had to work and family came second. And you end up realizing, like years down the road, you actually like your wife, you like your kids. You just forgot who the fuck their names were and you were lost. So you end up being on this like balance beam of life, right, here's what you do. Family comes first, right, and there's always a punishment, there's always a sacrifice you have to make if you don't live up to your part of the bargain. So we were, we were.
Speaker 1:This was like my first year with the Elliott group, right, and this is something that really pissed me off but really woke me up is we had pushed hard for like three months. I don't remember what the goal was. I mean it's. I don't know, it probably wasn't really a goal other than do what we do and continue to grow, because we're always pushing hard. But I mean, we pushed hard for three months. We were traveling a bunch, we had a bunch of events Like we were starting. Everyone was a little we don't get tired, but you know we were all pushing and we're all working from like shit.
Speaker 1:I was working from six in the morning until 7, 8 PM. Did that for months straight. And then one day Andy and Jacqueline come in, they have this meeting and they're like all right, here's what we're going to do. No one can be here before. I think it was eight o'clock in the morning, maybe it was eight, 30, eight or eight, 30 AM and everyone out of the office at four. I'm like what? Like you can work from home, don't fucking care, but you're the fuck out of the office. So the only hours you're allowed to be here, I'm like shit. I hate working from home. Why? Because at the time I lived an hour away. So like I would go in at six because from five to six I could drive in and no traffic, and then I would leave at seven because usually after seven there was no traffic. So that was two years ago.
Speaker 1:Then, anyways, I was newer to the company. I wasn't where I wanted to be, I wasn't hitting my goals, so I was giving everything I had to the office, to building my business, to building my brand, and they say, hey, you can't be here. I'm like, oh shit, okay cool. And when it comes to me like one of my discipline things that I lack in is I suck ass at working from home when other people are here. If I'm by myself, like I am right now, it's easy. This podcast is easy to shoot. There's no distractions, there's no like fear of missing out on something fucking epically fun. Um, I'm just doing shit.
Speaker 1:But like my wife and kids are, I'm like I always want to do shit with them. So like I find shit to do. Or you know, sometimes I'll end up helping around the house occasionally and I say occasionally or if there's some yard work done, like I always got to keep myself busy. So when I'm at home, there's always a million things that need done. When I'm at the office, I don't always see things. You know, take out the trash, shit like that you're going to do, but like I'm not mowing the fucking front yard. I don't need to go water any of the plants, trim the hed, but you know, put my dishes away. Just fucking bring it to go container and throw it away, or throw it in the car and wash it when I get home, if it's reusable. So, like, a lot of those type of distractions are eliminated.
Speaker 1:So I didn't like this because one it cost me about 30 minutes both ways, so about an hour of my day, because I was driving at rush hour time and it just it felt weird because I lived my whole life by it. If you're not getting where, you want, to be fucking sacrifice and I had kind of screwed that up. So what I did is I started going home and it was really weird at first, but then, like next thing, you know, I'm helping my wife take the kids to swim. I'm meeting her at life or at the pool that they go to. Hopefully, you know I use AI to edit these. I can't edit that out but where they swim I would go pick them up or I'd go watch them, I'd be more physically present. And then all of a sudden, like I started to like them again and we would do this, we would do that, we would go out to grab some food. We would go just hang out. We'd go here, go like wherever.
Speaker 1:And I learned this what andy and jacqueline were teaching us wasn't the fact of working too many hours is bad, like no, trust me, we that. That lasted, I think a month. It was three weeks something. I think it was a month. I think it was a month, and we went back to normal after that.
Speaker 1:But what it taught me specifically, what I really really took away from it, is I needed to quit sacrificing my family because it wasn't like for me, sacrificing them is easier than sacrificing myself, and what I mean by that is it's harder for me to leave the office if I'm having a day that is subpar to what I want to have than it is to like give up. Like you know. If I'm like, oh yeah, I'll go to your swim meet this weekend, like oh fuck, you know, I've had a slow week, I'm going to go to the office, like I've always done it that way in my life. So I try changing it up a little bit. I try changing it up to if I say I'm going to be at an event, if I say I'm going to be home, if I say I'm going to take this time off and I can't perform at work, then I'm going to fucking sacrifice my hell because me being present in their life is good as long as I smile and act like I'm enjoying it and you know, sometimes I struggle with the act like I'm enjoying it but as long as I'm present in their life and I'm there, it's better than being absent and I'm doing the shit that I said I was going to do. And then for me personally and this works for me it might not work for you, but I think it does.
Speaker 1:I think, if your fucking future truly matters as much as you think it does, even if you're struggling to get it, even if you're behind, even if things don't click every fucking day like you want them to, I think when you make commitments to your family and you show up, it goes more to show who you are as a person. It goes to show that you're not money hungry, not saying money's bad, money's fucking awesome. It makes the world go round. But when you say I'm here to serve people and I'm here to take care of others, like you've got to give to your family first, you've got to give to yourself, then your family, then your business. Every single time it goes in that order. Do not deviate yourself, your family, your business, Because if those first two things aren't in check, if you're not in check with yourself, you can't lead your family, you can't be fully present for them.
Speaker 1:If there's shit, you know problems going back at home, whether it stemmed from yourself or your family, you can't be fully present at work. So you've got to lead in that order. But what I would do is I would always sacrifice the number two time or the number one time, even number one and two of importance for number three, when really why not sacrifice and get pissed off at number three? Because number three actually, deep down inside, for my number one myself, hurts and scares me more. So it taught me that I just can't be. You know I need to become more productive, because if all I do is know how to work, you know 15 hours a day, that's fucking easy. You could be a miserable prick and die working 15 hours a day. But you know I spent eight years in the army. My kid, my first kid, was born at about year two when I was in the army, year one and a half. I just got back from Afghanistan. Um, by the way, I went home for two weeks, so fucking don't try to fucking look deep into that statement, but yeah, on my R and R made a kid, it was fucking fun, and then I get back and she's born.
Speaker 1:So when I was in that unit, the one 73rd, we were on pretty much deployment cycle. It was the most deployed brigade or battalion brigade, one 73rd airborne brigade, one brigade in the entire army one year on, one year off, 18 on one year off, whatever their dwell time is like. It was a very, very engaging unit. So we were always in the field. We were always prepping to go downrange, coming back from downrange like fuck. For those four years I was gone. Uh, then I went to 425 in alaska. Well, that unit is responsible for the pacific rim or some shit like that. So same thing, they're the quick strike force.
Speaker 1:And here's the thing about the army and if there's any commanders listening to this, change this shit because it's living hell Is, my unit was always on red cycle, and what red cycle is is you had to be available I think it was within like six hours to report back or something. Basically, you had to put a pass to go anything beyond, I think two hours away or some shit, I don't actually know, because everyone quits carrying some shit. I don't actually know, because everyone quits caring, but you're supposed to be able to deploy anywhere in the world and I think it's like 18 hours or 24 hours or some shit like that. Anyways, when you're on red cycle, you're not supposed to drink, you're not supposed to do this, you're not supposed to do that, you can't go do anything fun, like that's what they tell you. The problem is they don't tell you when you're truly on and off it. They just tell you you're always on and then they always forget to tell you when you're off. But they always, you know then remind you when you're back on and realistically, you always think you're on. So you just quit giving a fuck because you quit believing their bullshit and it's a horrible leadership tactic. So if there's a commander on this, fucking listen to that shit. Take that as a note is be real to your people. So, anyways, what that meant is we were always going to the field, we were always preparing to move, we were always doing this. I mean we.
Speaker 1:There's just so much time where you know I'd be going in when I was getting ready for a special operations selection. I would be going into the office at three, 30 in the morning. I wouldn't get home till eight o'clock. I would literally just fucking pass out and sleep. Hell, I was so busy in those times I couldn't even have a couple of beers. Like I was busy, I was tired and like the little bit of time I did have, I was drinking and I was barely asleep taking a nap, playing a video game. I just wasn't present. So I gave up eight of those years. And then and I gave up eight of those years and it's hard to say like I gave up a lot of time that I didn't need to give up because I wasn't present, but I also gave up, um, you know, a lot for the country. Part of the military is just a bitch.
Speaker 1:Uh, then I was in the automotive industry for about six, seven years, something like that, and my goal was to fucking succeed. My goal was to win and I knew when I got in I think I was 25 or 26 years old Um, I knew that I was behind, you know, the 18, 19, 20 year old kids, and I knew I was going to run that bitch. So I worked all the days, um, and all the hours for the most part. Now, I took a little bit of time off here, I took a little bit of time off there. Trust me, I wasn't one of those bell to bell seven day a week guys I valued. I think when I first started I had like Wednesday and every third Saturday or it was some goofy ass schedule like that, um. So I took Wednesday off every week. Wednesdays were sacred to me, so I was a six day a week guy. But other than that I was bell to bell, like you know. If I had a late day I would take my kids to school. I think it made me like 30 minutes after opening. So I was, you know, 30 minutes late, not, you know, at 11 or 12, whenever the late shift was, and then I would just be there pretty much to close every night. Why? Because I was going to win. I was going to make it.
Speaker 1:Went into sales management Same thing. Wasn't ready for it, Worked all the hours. Became a GM Same thing, wasn't ready for it, worked all the hours. There was a little stint during COVID. That was awesome because we could only have half the shift on. So I didn't work much that time.
Speaker 1:But when I moved to Phoenix, worked a lot of the hours because I was behind. I was new to Phoenix, I didn't know the area. I was, you know, established dealership. I had to kick ass. So I worked a lot of the hours.
Speaker 1:So when we were forced not to be there, I realized like I had sacrificed so much of my family's time over and over and over again because I wasn't being productive and I just learned to be there all the time and take opportunity rather than create opportunity. There all the time and take opportunity rather than create opportunity. Now, I could kind of create opportunity. I wasn't horrible, but I didn't value time. So when they reduced us to shit, I think that was like a seven hour workday it was awful. Um, you really had to become productive because I knew my ass when I went home, cause my family was going to be there, I was going to go to the gym with them, I was going to hang out with them, I was going to come home and just be with them or be around or be distracted at home or do shit. Or you know, we had a bad-ass backyard, bad-ass pool, turf yard like hanging out by the pool, hot tub, whatever. Like a lot to do to distract ourselves.
Speaker 1:So I had to figure out how to basically work. You know what I would love to do, which is a 45, really 50 to 60 hour work week in office is kind of where I like to be, but I had to learn how to do it in seven hour days, and we weren't allowed to be there on the weekends either. So it wasn't like just, you know, go work the seven hour Saturday, sunday. No, it was Monday through Friday, seven hours. So that made me realize that the number one thing I learned to balance, like you know, balance the family is there's going to be two things I talk about this is the big one is sacrifice, personal pain before the family's pain. So what I mean by that for me, not putting up the revenue that I want, not putting up the money that I want, not, you know, changing people's lives Like I want, not not hitting my goals, really only affects me, because if I smile, if I get through it, my family doesn't really know that. Now, if we were broke and about to live under a bridge, that's a different fucking story. We weren't there, so I had to change it to where, if I told them, I was going to be somewhere and I had a bad day, bad week, bad month. Don't give a fuck. That's your fault, bitch. That's your fault that you promised that you would do this and you're not able to achieve that for them. Don't make them pay, you pay. So I ended up changing that mindset.
Speaker 1:The second thing is and this one's going to be a little easier because I don't really have to frame it as much is you need to be present wherever the hell you're at when you're at work. You're at work to work. You're not there dicking around on Instagram, facebook, you know, social media. If you have to, if you have to work late, if you have to put an extra hours, by all means fucking do it. But if you're dicking around chit chat and fucking playing cornhole or whatever other stupid shit to do to waste time and you got a family back at home that would love to spend time with you and you're doing all this other stupid fucking shit when you're supposed to be grinding, you're fucking cheating. You're cheating on your wife and your kids.
Speaker 1:Now, this one's not as hard for me because I'm pretty. I mean, I'm not going to say I don't fuck around occasionally. I'm not going to say, when I was in the dealership I didn't fuck around a lot, but you know, especially the dealership, I wasn't the right mindset, like I was, you know, sacrificing family over work versus work over family. So I'd fuck around at work all the time. Um with the LA group. I'm pretty luckily, I grew up for my early dealership days, so I got pretty to the point when, hey, when I lock onto a task, I'm going to do it, whether I'm good at it or not. Like I could stay pretty well um on task or at least I could keep something doing for productivity. So this one's not as hard for me. But when you're at work, you're there to work.
Speaker 1:Now I'm not saying don't have a little bit of fun, but I'm saying like I've seen so many times an hour and a half water cooler talk. You know people talking about shit that doesn't even matter, bitching about this, crying about that, talking about the, the, the fucking Steelers. Like all you're doing is robbing time for your family or just hanging out at the office because you don't want to go home. If you find yourself in that position, just hanging out to keep busy because you don't want to go home, you got some shit to check man. Like people are like oh man, you're watching the clock waiting for you to, you know, waiting for your ability to go home. Fuck, yeah, I am now. It's not because I don't like where I work or anything, but it's because I made promises to someone else. It's important to me and I've got to be there for that. And I don't take that the wrong way, as I'm sitting there clock watching but you know, at the same time, like I'm not selling cars anymore, I can kind of plan my day. And even if you are selling cars or you're in one of those positions where people could just walk in, get good enough that you can set your own schedule. Get good enough that you've got enough deals or you've got enough customers coming in that if you promise something at Friday at six, you say, hey, I'm gonna do this at Friday at six and guess what? You go do it. If you're not there, go earn the right there, but get that privilege in your life.
Speaker 1:The second portion is when you are with your family, when you do go home, when you do say, fuck this, I'm having a bad week but I'm not sacrificing it anymore. Are you present? So this is more where I struggled, you know, and I've gotten a lot, lot better in the last two years of my life. But there are so many times I'd be sitting there bitching and like, oh, I don't get to spend enough time, like I don't get to spend enough time, like I don't have enough time for this shit. Blah, blah, blah. Or you know, hey, can you come to the game this weekend? No, I've got to do this. Like, here's the problem.
Speaker 1:I would go home, crack open a six-pack and drink it. I would go home, have a half you know half bottle. I would go out, we would go out somewhere, we'd go to a game or something and by the second quarter I'd be, you know, good little buzz going. Not that I was a dick or anything, but you know I wasn't presently there. Um, go play Xbox, go dick around on the phone. Hell, you'd be in the same room, a hundred miles apart. And you do that for four hours, three hours, two hours, and you think you're getting your emotional stamina checked. But you're not like your. Your emotional bank is still fucking empty because you're not connecting. You're not like your. Your emotional bank is still fucking empty because you're not connecting, you're not sharing anything.
Speaker 1:It's why we don't do it, but a lot of families have. You know, the dinner thing we've tried before. We stuck at it, um, but you know they, they eat as a um. We're just got really hard. They eat as a family for dinner every single night. I've done some very successful entrepreneurs that have made that part of their schedule. 6 PM, we sit down. Nothing gets in our way. I'll work after, I'll work before, but 6 pm to 7 pm, family dinner time, things like that. Your emotional bucket will fill drastically faster in a situation like that, where electronics are down, phones are down, than if you've got eight people sitting on the couch or two of them in their room, two on the couch scrolling reels or playing Xbox or whatever other it is. So when you're there, be present with your family, be present in their lives. And at the third thing and the third and the final thing I have to say is you got to be a leader for them.
Speaker 1:You will get lost in your family balance, dynamic if you don't feel like you fit in or bring value to your family. And there were many times I felt like that. You know many times where I was like oh yeah, my wife, she does, brittany, she does everything and the kids really don't need me. They just need me to come beat them up occasionally and play with them and smile and show up at the end of the game. The thing is like the reason they didn't need me is I didn't bring any fucking value. What was I going to do? Was I going to be like hey, you're, you know fucking, your fucking dad is lazy and fat and this and that? And like what value was I going to bring? Not much, not much. So be a leader of the family, be physically fit, eat clean, be someone that can give them value, be someone that they want to be around, be someone that is providing something for them in their life, and that's really what's going to go far and that's really what's going to help balance.
Speaker 1:You know, the family and work dynamic is one is. Sacrifice work over family, but do it in the light of I've got to become productive so I can have the right, so I can earn my family time back. Now, if you're broke as fuck and you're just trying to get started you haven't figured out how to make money yet You're going to sacrifice a lot of your family time. Why? Because I promise you this, just sitting around broke as fuck with your family, barely paying bills, barely getting by watching your family suffer, ain't the way to do it. But once you've got money kind of figured out, once you figured out how to make, you know you got a little bit in the bank, you got a little bit extra, you guys are having fun. You sacrifice a family Second, you sacrifice business first and you make your ass pay for it, cause usually once you figure out how to make money, it starts getting a little addicting, so it'll hurt, don't worry. If you haven't felt it yet. Um, ain't for you, you gotta come up with a different method. But I think this works for most entrepreneurs and salespeople.
Speaker 1:The second portion is be present. Be someone that when you are with them, that you are present with them in their lives. Because if you're not, like, don't waste your time. Your time is valuable, you don't have much. So if you're just gonna sit there drunk, if you're gonna to sit there doing whatever you're doing, but you're not present in their life, it doesn't count. And the third part is be someone of value. If you don't provide, if you don't provide value to your family, then no shit. That you don't feel valuable in it, then, no shit, no one wants to hang out with you. Be someone who can provide value. Be someone who and value can be in a million things. Value could be in a laugh. It can be in love. It could be just you can be in a million things. Value could be in a laugh, it could be in love. It could be just you know, being someone who gets them to go out there.
Speaker 1:I hear so many people's like, oh, my kids don't ever want to go outside anymore. I'm like dude, you play fucking Xbox all day. No, fucking shit, I've been there. I've been that person. But you know we still went outside quite a bit. But like, what value do you bring to your family? Are you just trying to milk, milk your wife and kids for value all day? I've been there, not not dogging on you, I'm only talking because I've been there or are you truly giving back? So this one isn't so much of a rant, this one's to really get your brain thinking. I appreciate everyone. I will see you next time. On Not Safe for Society, we're probably going to go into the myth that they call college.
